seek balance, but lose the scale

Well friends, let's talk about me for a minute :)  By now you know that to share with you some of the lessons I've learned, I'm going to have to share a lot of myself with you.  Some of this is embarrassing, but I'm happy to do it because I know you're reading this and that you realize now that you're not alone.  So here we go....


For the past two years, I have been obsessed with my scale.  By "obsessed", I mean that I weighed myself every single morning.  If my weight had increased from the day before, I agonized over what I had eaten over the past 24 hours, and what I should not eat that day.  If my weight had decreased, I tried to remember what I did right the day before so I could repeat it again.  I ignored factors like (*cringe*) certain times of the month where bloating might be more likely, and other factors that may have accounted for the weight increase or decrease.  I lived completely by the scale.  


I started this practice at 214 lbs., and within about a year I had lost 20 lbs.  And then, the worst thing ever happened--I hit a plateau.  I continuously drifted between 193-197 lbs., size 10-12, and I tell you, every single day I agonized over where in that range I was, and why I couldn't just get down below 190.  I had a breakdown.


And then, my dear Jeff (you'll be hearing about him a lot, I'm sure), talked me off the ledge, so to speak. I put my scale in the back of my closet, and it's been there for a few weeks so far.  I thought I would feel some sort of separation anxiety, but I have never felt better in my life.


Instead of chasing a number, my health and fitness is focused on how I feel inside.  I am practicing forming good eating habits, and drinking water and taking vitamins regularly.  I have an exercise "routine", of sorts, which alternates running and biking, and sprinkles some weight-training throughout.  I do yoga almost daily.  


But most importantly, I listen to my body.  Ladies, we will talk very soon about the importance of listening to your body and your instincts, but this applies to men and women.  Do not peel yourself out of bed at 3 a.m. when you have only gotten 2 hours of sleep because you just have to lose that last three pounds.  Your body needs rest.  Do not get me wrong, you will feel a very clear buzz of energy after you go to the gym, but I can assure you that it will not carry you through the day and help your brain stay alert when you're at work at 2 p.m. wishing there was a cot under your desk.  Listen to what your body is telling you.  I'm tired, let's get some rest.  I'm thirsty, I need water.  It's talking, just listen!


I do not want you to take away from this posting that weight is not important, and we should all just float through life eating donuts and sitting on our personal lily pad.  I am merely suggesting that your quest should be for health, and that you should do it because you love yourself, and in a way that honors that love and respects where your body is today.  


You can do it.  I know you can.